Sunday, September 21, 2008

... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jerry in Seinfeld was always being mistaken for a homosexual because he was single, thin, neat, and clean. There are several episodes where he must prove his heterosexuality even when George tries to dispute in futile attempts using Jerry as a gay scapegoat to get out of a current relationship. All the while Jerry must reiterate: not that there's anything wrong with that. I likewise have had to assert the now common catch phrase. I mean I am single, not really thin, somewhat neat, and clean.

This past week, I feel that I've had a few experiences that certainly merit the "... not that there's anything wrong with that" slogan. After watching Real World VS. Road Rules: The Island at Katie Jo's house, my friend Eric and I were leaving on my motorcycle (yes two-up on the bike). Katie Jo's roommate was walking up the drive-way as we were sitting on the bike ready to take off. We engaged in some chit-chat for a while and then Kate Gildea came out of the house with treat bags for us (the bags were made of the delicious Chex treat that Kate had made for the show). Some how we got on the topic of how Eric was fat but yet he still wanted to go to Taco Bell and he and I go into a mild bickering match. We said our good-bye and drove off into the night. 20 minuets after arriving home, I got a text from Kate that read: Yup, just was asked if you were gay.

Saturday I after the football game I came back to my place and got into a really good cleaning groove, tackling both the kitchen and bathroom. By the time I had finished it was 8:30 and Rick texted me saying he was hungry and that we should go to the Chili's. I called Eric but he was with a girl, who he subsequently ended up kissing that night, so it looked like it would be just me and Rick going out to dinner (... not that there's anything wrong with that). We were seated and the hostest asked if it was just the two of us, in a "wow, these guys are either gay or really pathetic" -kind of way. After making a joke that yes it was just the two of us but that we weren't "together" we were seated. Right behind us were a
couple of girls that I've known since my Frosh year here at USU. We exchanged salutations and they made the joke that they'd be eavesdropping. (Exactly like what happened in the Seinfeld season 4 episode where the journalist eavesdrops on Jerry and George pretending to be gay). Our conversation for the evening (Rick and myself) consisted of talking about how "our day is coming" and "if that guy can get a girl, we surely can too." When all of a sudden one of our really good friends - who is gay - walked into the Chili's
on a date. He left his date for a second and came over to talk to us. He inquired about our entrees and we made small chat. I made the joke that we were just discussing how not-gay we were. He chuckled and said, "Oh, used to have that discussion with myself all the time ." Rick and I looked up and each other and just shook our heads. Our friend giggled and returned to his date. When the waiter came he asked if he should do one or separate checks. We then bombarded him with comments of making the check absolutely as separate as possible!

It was an interesting week. One that I believe probably shouldn't be reflected upon too much. For the future I no doubtingly will be making an asserted effort to plan more dates (with girls) and have something set up so that there is no confusion as to weather I'm gay or not, not that there's anything wrong with that.


  1. There are SO many things I could say right now.

  2. I'm a can take me out anytime you want!!

  3. haha well I went out with you so hopefully you arent gay! haha although you do have gay tendencies! haha totally kidding T! I think its your friendlyness that may send out that vibe..but c'mon you work at Harley Davidson...(I think you still work there) thats way to ruff and rugged to question your "status" haha Hope things are going well!!

  4. Hahaha Trent you are too funny! Miss ya!