Cool VS Stool - Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Transformers: Dark of the Moon – Enough lens flares to make J.J. Abrams jealous.

If you loved Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, you’ll love the latest installment in the Transformers franchise. But what does it mean for a sequel when the director doesn’t even like its preceding film?

“It was kind of a mess, wasn’t it?” Michael Bay told the LA Times in reference to Revenge of the Fallen.

Bay claimed that the 2nd film suffered from poor writing, and that Dark of the Moon would rectify that error. Why then did Bay use the same writer for the 3rd film, Ehren Kruger? Dark of the Moon’s biggest flaws lie in the story.

The ongoing saga of the Autobots and Decepticons plays out in a full-out invasion of Earth (which doesn’t even start until 90 minutes into the film). Presumably legions of the alien robots have been hibernating buried in the moon. Presumably, because only one ship is actually described as being there and suddenly Earth is being held hostage by throngs of bad bots. It is up to the handful of Autobots and recent college grad Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) to save humanity.

The film has some of the best 3D effects seen in a film. But that is like saying it is the skinniest kids at fat camp, as 3D is still a gimmicky tactic. However the added shade from the 3D glasses is helpful to shield viewers from the unnecessary lens flares used in the film. And the over-use of bullet time shots makes each fight scene painfully slow and the already exhaustingly long movie feel even longer.

Sadly, great talent was sucked in to this cash cow in minor roles played by Ken Jeong (The Hangover) and John Malkovich (Red); who I’m sure will make their way into trailers for the film in a week or so to draw fence sitters to the theater.

This movie is painfully long and spoon feeds the audience obnoxiously obvious plotlines with nonstop on the nose dialog. See this film if you liked Transformers: Rise of the Fallen, Bad Boys 2, or Armageddon.

Cool VS Stool Rating = Stool