Thursday, November 23, 2006

Television: A Circumvention To Dealing With Life

Since I moved into my humble solitary home, I find myself falling asleep on the couch almost nightly. No big deal, you must say to yourself. Doesn't everyone at some time? My case is a little different. I will turn on the the classic, wood cased, RCA television, (which is adorned with stickers) then turn my back to the screen and go to sleep. From the very start of this occurrence, I recognized how strange it is. I have found as I wash my face and get ready to retire for the night, that a glance in the direction of my bed will lay a heavy burden on my mind. Shortly there after I will enter my bed room, pull the over sized blanket from its rest and snatch the Transformer pillow; Bedding in hand I head for the front room. I don't sleep any better on the couch than I do in my bed. In fact, the couch (actually a futon) is lumpy beyond all reason and really does a number on my bum shoulder. To complicate the matter, sometime around 4 a.m. I awake and drag myself and my bedding back into my bed. This has perplexed me until two nights ago.......

After having a very difficult couple of days due to lack of sleep, over exertion, and some personal issues that are not important to the point, I was laying in bed and just wanted to go and couch myself in front of the T.V. However, I wasn't in my isolated abode, but instead passing the night at a dear friends house. My T.V. watching would no doubt disturb others in the house, so I didn't know what to do. I tossed and turned in my friends cool basement bed. There was so much in my head that I just could not even begin to think about being tired. Then I had had enough! I arose from the bed and went to my car, grabbed my iPod, and returned inside. Pushing the earphones into my ears, I settled down into the family room's LoveSac. The bass thumped my ear drum. I turned it up louder. The bass thumbed my ears. I turned it up louder. The bass thumped my thoughts.......

The past four months have been some of my most difficult. They also have been the only four months that I've spent asleep in front of my television. I have been using the T.V. to drown out my thoughts. My mind will focus on the T.V. and allow me to forget about the problems which bombard my thoughts. Is this a healthy way to put oneself to sleep? Hell, I don't know. However, I'd wager that it's cheaper than Ambien.

1 comment:

  1. When I had ambien I would not sleep but rather party and trip and live and die all in one night.